I love me a bootleg. I do. The more conspicuously rubbish, the more tenuous the link, the better.

Take any of The Asylum‘s output–or better still, take all of it (Transmorphers, anyone? Snakes on a Train?). Have I seen any of it? Christ, no. Whatever do you take me for? But do I love the idea? The sheer out-there-ness of it? Absolutely.

This has been doing the rounds for a day or two now, but how–how, I ask–could I not?

Welcome to the alternative childhood: a strange world where the bootleg toys are almost better than the real deal.

Step through the wormhole, wonder as the universes collapse and bring you the joys of…

Darth Vader: Star Knight!

or – Archer-Spiderman (and his sidekick, Angler Spiderman)!

Brilliant, brilliant things. And when I say “brilliant”, I mean “crap”.

But if this is your bag (and let’s face it, it is. Go on, admit it: it’s everyone’s bag) there’s an entire site dedicated to them.

I, for one, will be holding out for a Silverbat from Santa.

(Bonus points and virtual cookies, by the way, if you correctly spotted the poorly-bootlegged title…)